Sorry, but it is back to the drawing board for organisers of #UBMLIVE

Your girl in gossip was thrilled to receive an invite to the ultimate braai master launch dubbed #UBMLIVE in Craighall on Wednesday.

 Shwa is such a liker of things that she skipped lunch and arrived five minutes early, in the hope of arriving to some smoke mouth watering shisanyama. But jokes on your girl, because there was no food on my arrival, sana!

 But wait, who still hands out name tags at events? Why must I run around like a lost child looking for their parents at the beach in Dezemba? That was so lame, ag!

 Anyway, a correction for the team that organised the event… when you say “braai” we South Africans expect the smoke and the traditional “shisanyama’” not some cute mini burgers and pizza. Ag! But then again those beef patties were delicious.

 The judge duo Pete Goffe and Benny Masekwameng gave attendees a quick braai demo on how to make the perfect steak, which finally brought an element of smoke. Tasters for all attendees, really? Moi does not align with low budget events, please.

 It was hilarious to hear a contestant from season 8 say “you got 10 seconds left”

 Shwa cannot thank comedian Chris Forrest enough, who saved the day and kept us entertained. Brother had jokes rolling, so we had no choice but to replace the real shisanyama with jokes, imagine! You launched an “all things braai festival”, did you not ?

 Kind request from Moi to the ultimate braai masters, please make sure that inyama is not just a taster, rather part of the food. It must not feature in the show, it must be the star of the show.

Malebogo Diraditsile and Naledi Matshitse, who took first place for season 8 “the village cooks,” could have rather given the guests a lovely traditional shisanyama.

 Shout out to the resident deejay Auto Mqina for holding the event down with beautiful throwbacks, at least that compensated for the leaks in the event.

 Tanya my darling, makeup is to enhance beauty not to hide stuff. Girl, those layers made me believe that we had a real-life barbie doll in our presence, kanti it was you.

 Who attends a braai event in heels bathong? Or is Moi not African enough? Cause I spotted Nosihle Mangwe and Zanele wearing heels. If anything, sneakers would have been the way to go. Imagine going to a safari in heels? You can do better, girls!


 Moi wishes to see attendees at the ultimate braai master festival in September in much more comfortable gear. It’s braai bathong, not Konka!

 In essence , Moi found this event rather dry, or just maybe my expectations were a little too high! The organisers must go back to the drawing board!

Moi really wasted her time coming to watch winners receive their prizes! shem.

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