Johannesburg – Can all the musicians who assume they are celebrities please stop threatening each other with violence. Did you know it’s triggering?
• Zweli Mkhize, what’s actually going on with these allegations against you? Do you know we rooted for you? Hell, some publications even called you the personality of the year. Considering stepping aside or is that exclusively for the chap from the Free State?
• Tahera Mather and Naadhira Michael, are you feeling rich? We are poor. Can you celebs rent out places for those Instagram pictures because seeing folk posing in parking lots is a lot. Nice concrete backdrop, Moozlie.
• Glad Nthathi Moshesh is back in the industry and making it interesting. All these inevitable separations are a bore. You bored?
• Mark Fish, we hope everything at home is fine, only because your son made serious allegations. All sorted?
• Please continue supporting actor Nkanyiso Bhengu, who is on day 189 of walking to shed off weight. Don’t bring a burger. Let me ask.
• Felicia Mabuza-Suttle, please ask them to update the outdated sunglass billboards, will you?
• It was strange seeing Dali Mpofu representing a “constitutional delinquent”.
Things lawyers do always leave Shwa mesmerised.
Save ubaba, Dali, he needs all the help he can get (for free).
• Zizo Beda, are you now a pastor like Gerry Elsdon?
• KFC, what really happens to the R2 that we donate, and do cashiers have to meet a daily target?
Congrats, and be a good mom, Naomi
Congratulations on your baby Naomi Campbell. Do promise never to slap her, we know about you.
Another crocodile tears?
Do you feel sympathy for Kiernan Forbes or are you confused? If tears couldn’t save Oscar Pistorius, why would anyone in their right mind follow his cue?
We may not agree with singer Candy Tsa Mandebele’s hairstyle, but we love how her dress sense mirrors Africans. Want a wig?
Bishop Israel Makamu, how does it feel being arrested for harassing girls?
Shwa hopes you get all that is coming to you and more.
Man of God, bathong. Sies! And why did pastor Enoch Phiri defend Makamu’s tendencies? Is it a matter of birds of the same feather flocking together? Bo daddy la bora.
We are ecstatic that musician Gigi Lamanye survived a hijacking. Please be careful and get a driver … I mean boyfriend, will you?
Great to see presenter Minnie Jones back at work and looking fine. Will you keep it up?
Can we have Khulu Minati because he is so dangerously sexy?
Worrisome and still confused
A clip is circulating on social media of some popular Durban musicians in a strange mood.
Was Mamphintsha trying to eat Tira’s ear and what was Tira chewing so vigorously?
Also, Babes Wodumo, what’s happening to your teeth? Some missing? Do tell.
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