Thembinkosi Mthembu, who currently plays the role of Bonga Tembe on Showmax’s Adulting, has urged women to be kind.
Mthembu further stated that women should not generalise men based on their experiences with others. Having played Bonga for three seasons, Mthembu said he has also learnt that men need to take things one step at a time.
“In today’s world, especially in KZN, there is immense pressure on men. Many of my friends have struggled with these pressures. They are feeling like failures if they have not reached a certain level of success or if they are not attracting women.
Too much pressure in relationships
“We need to return to the basics like our fathers. [They] worked simple jobs and provided for their families without societal pressures. If we do this, we can grow and become better men and fathers.”
The thespian added that if a woman no longer loves you, let her go.
“There is no need for abuse, whether verbal or physical. Let her go, and do not hold on to someone who does not want to be with you.”
At the end of Season 2 of Adulting Bonga marries the woman of his dreams. But their honeymoon is short-lived when they realise their goals for starting a family are misaligned.
“Bonga and Nkanyezi’s current problem highlights a lack of communication and selfishness. He wants to start a family quickly, influenced by the shortcomings of his absent father. And he desperately wants to prove that he is a great man and will be a great father.
Importance of communication
“However, when Bonga and Nkanyezi decided to marry, they did not have a clear conversation about their expectations regarding starting a family. If they had discussed this openly, they might have avoided this mess. Now, they are two bitter adults heading toward disaster.”
They say art imitates life. And Mthembu shares how his real-life marriage influenced his portrayal of Bonga’s life.
Life imitates art
“It influenced me in many ways, especially regarding communication and balance. In marriage, both partners need each other to ensure a healthy relationship. My wife was also a huge help while preparing for this role,” he said.
“She would assist me with my lines, and I would ask her how she would feel if I said something in a particular way. It was fun to see if I could provoke a reaction from her in the same way Bonga might from Nkanyezi.”
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