Rapper and businessman Caspper Nyovest recently got candid about his life on Mpoomy Ledwaba’s The Wisdom & Wellness Podcast.
The rapper, real name Refiloe Phoolo, got vulnerable and spoke about addictions, depression, and an encounter he had that saved his life.
When asked about the hardest thing he has ever had to face, and what led to him being saved, the rapper opened up about his “Aha!” moment.
“I woke up one day and I had questions I could not answer. It was like my answers weren’t good enough and I could not understand. These three simple questions: ‘who am I? where do you come from? and where are you going?’ were directed to my soul,” said Cassper.
He said he started questioning God and at this point. His entire life became a blur, where he did not enjoy anything and didn’t care about anything.
“I remember when I went to Durban to perform. So I went to see my son hoping I would feel better. When he ran to me I felt nothing. And I was like ‘what is this? I don’t have feelings towards my own son’?
Immorality and big ego
“The devil had me so deep, everything that I did was validated and I could negotiate why I was doing it. I was addicted to sex, sexual immorality and I had such a big ego.
“God showed me that I had destroyed my life with sex. Sex was my master. It used to tell me what to do, and where to go. My days were short because sex was controlling me. I used to live a life so hectic and I thought it was fine because it was in secret.
“I used to wake up at 3am and go to people’s homes. This created a serious mess, I hurt my baby mama so much. And I have been single for two years by the way. I carried on living this life.”
Cassper shared that generally, he is a good person but he felt he was headed straight to hell. He says he has always been a praying person but felt he thought he knew God.
“Everybody has to figure out their own salvation. I had to know God for myself. I had to have that encounter with him, which was very hard. My version of success right now is humility and being able to obey God.”