Oh, Elon. You brave intergalactic capitalist, you. Did you really think you could parachute satellites into South Africa – land of load shedding, endless queues, and bureaucrats who still use fax machines – and not get singed? Let’s stop tickling ourselves with hope.
Starlink will not be raining internet blessings on our WiFi-starved homes any time soon. Forms will be filled, signatures will be lost, and somewhere in Pretoria, a committee will meet to set another meeting about the first meeting.
Lawyers are already rubbing their hands, dreaming of new German sedans, as Starlink’s hopes dissolve into a puddle of court dates and legalese. All this because our son Elon went full bull-in-a-China-shop and called in Trump, a man who has never met an issue he couldn’t make worse.
Instead of charm, Musk chose to launch tweets with the subtlety of a vuvuzela at a chess match. In South Africa, arrogance is best left at the arrivals gate at OR Tambo. In the end, Starlink’s South African saga is a study in the perils of arrogance – and a timely reminder that, in these parts, power plays are best handled with humility, not hubris.
