Rapper Nadia Kandava, fondly known by her stage name Nadia Nakai, has spoken out about how she turned her back on God after her boyfriend, Kiernan “AKA” Forbes, was killed earlier this year.
Nakai was addressing the media in one of the posh restaurants in Parkmore, a suburb in Johannesburg on Thursday.
The Naah Meaan hitmaker said losing AKA was the biggest blow for her, as AKA was the first person she had lost who was close to her.
Describing her grief, she said she had a difficult relationship with God because she felt let down.
“The fact that something so tragic had happened, I felt so let down by God,” she explained.
“I had never experienced anything like that ever, it was a shock to my system, because his funeral was the first funeral I ever attended.”
She said she does not know what healing is, because she does not think she has fully healed following the death of her boyfriend.
Finding my way back to God
“I don’t know what the process to heal is, I don’t feel like I’ve healed. I don’t know what that looks like, because I’ve never done this before.
“I am learning as I grow, so I wouldn’t be able to advise anyone navigating grief.
“I am still trying to find my way back to God and I feel like that is a story that needs to be told because a lot of people go through that.”
She revealed that in the process of defining life without Supa Mega, as AKA was fondly called, she found solace in the studio and she has been working on a tribute EP for AKA.
“I used his mantra of going to deal with your emotions in the studio and that birthed a new sound and a different Nadia,” she said.
“I am more spiritual now because I am trying to understand the realm that he went to.”
The rapper, who featured on her late lover’s final project Mass Country, said the EP is an emotional project that she ever worked on.
In the EP, she shares the most personal parts of her relationship with the Fela in Versace rapper. “People can expect to hear voice notes in the EP and the sound is completely different,” said Nakai.
AKA was shot dead outside the Wish restaurant on Florida Road in Durban in February. He had been booked for a performance in the city on the night he met his death.
In September, Police Minister Bheki Cele said the investigators were close to cracking the double-murder of AKA and Tebello Motsoane, the rapper’s friend who was also killed on the night.