Former Skeem Saam actress Pebetsi Nolo Matlaila believes her book, A Decade In My Lifetime, is a very special milestone.
Matlaila was a guest on Lelo N’s Gamechangers podcast, where she discussed her book.
Speaking on the podcast, Matlaila shared the snippets of the book and how she has managed to overcome and change her game.
The book begins when she moved abroad at the age of 19 and ends in her late 30s when she finished writing it.
A memoir that reads like a novel
“It is a memoir that reads like a novel, what I am proud about is that every chapter of the book has a lesson to it, said Matlaila.
“I had to go back and rewrite certain chapters where I had to intertwine certain topics to run as a common thread.”
The actress said she never got married twice, but that she ran away from the first idea of marriage because she felt too young at the time.
“After I gave birth to my first child at 27, the father of my child wanted to make his intentions clear, but I ran away to Johannesburg,” she said.
“I also felt like I was going to be oppressed in that marriage because I could see the red flags. I was well-taken care of, but I was not the submissive type.
“I am a go-getter and I could not live under somebody’s shadow.”
Dating scene
When she eventually got to Johannesburg, she started dating again and was weighing out her options.
She shared that a lot of bad decisions were made at that time, and she speaks about those decisions in her book.
“I met my last-born dad who is my now ex-husband right at the tail end of the Covid-19 [pandemic]. He has always been after me … for four years.
“I never tell people this, but my ex-husband was the rebound guy, the love-of-my-life guy had broken my heart.”
She said after being heartbroken by the love of her life, she vowed she was not going to drown her sorrows. Instead, she ran into the arms of another man, her ex-husband.
“Literally in two-three months, I was pregnant and he was happy and wanted to marry me. I told myself that we don’t have to get married but can have a baby together.
“Marriage was never in the books for me.”
Learning to love
She then realised that she would have two children who had different fathers, and convinced herself that she would learn to love the rebound guy.
“Unfortunately for me, I knew the red flags before I even got married to him. He had an addiction problem,” she said.
“Not only that, when he was under the influence of alcohol, he got really abusive. People think my marriage was a fairytale that turned dark, it’s been dark from day one.”
Matlaila said she just allowed her ex-husband to marry her because she was pregnant with his child and he was remorseful.
“We were married officially for nine months but the relationship I had with him as boyfriend and girlfriend was about three months.
“The only way at the time which I could find my worth was in the hands of another man.”
Also Read: A special milestone, says elated Pebetsi Matlaila on new book
