South African content creator and reality TV star Anika Dambuza, popularly known as The City Makoti, has sparked a national conversation after candidly revealing that she is the primary breadwinner in her marriage, a reality many households live, but few openly discuss.
Dambuza is part of The Real City Makoti, a Mzansi Wethu reality show which follows five makotis (newly married wives) who live vibrant lives in the city while maintaining a strong connection with their rural and traditional roots
What started as a personal TikTok video quickly turned into a wider cultural debate about gender roles, financial power and the meaning of partnership in modern relationships.
A life most couples won’t admit to
Speaking to Sunday World Dambuza said: “It’s the season we’re in, and I believe in showing real life. Many families quietly live this reality but feel like they can’t speak about it. Representation matters.”
In a society where provision has long been tied to masculinity, her revelation has unsettled traditional expectations. But inside her home, she says, money does not translate into control.
“Provision in our home isn’t just financial, it’s emotional, spiritual and practical. We make decisions together. Money is a resource, not a power tool.”
While she admits to facing judgment for earning more than her husband, she believes the backlash reflects deeply ingrained ideas about manhood and worth.
“In our home there’s no competition. So outside opinions don’t carry the same weight,” she says. She added that her husband remains secure despite public commentary.
“He decides for himself what aligns with his dignity, not what strangers say online.”
Pressure on most men
Her experience also highlights the pressure many South African men face to be the main providers.
“Men have been taught that provision equals value. That’s a heavy burden, especially in an economy where circumstances change. We need to expand that definition of value,” she says.
For The City Makoti, financial independence has strengthened, not threatened her marriage.
“When you know you can stand on your own, choosing your partner becomes about love and commitment. Not necessity.”
Her message to women who are quietly carrying the financial load is clear: “Don’t shrink yourself to protect perceptions. Your success is not something to apologise for.”
And to men who feel threatened?
Redefining love, power and money
“Your worth is bigger than a payslip. Financial seasons change. Character, leadership and presence are what truly sustain a family.”
In opening up about her own life, The City Makoti cast member has done more than trend online. She has forced a necessary conversation about how love, power and provision are being redefined in South African homes.
“Discomfort doesn’t mean something is wrong,” she says. “It often means something is evolving.”
