Veteran actor Patrick Shai’s widow, Masechaba Shai, has come out to campaign for the rights of widows.
Speaking to Sunday World, she said widows were often demonised and made to believe they do not belong to the community in which they live in, with their in-laws sometimes claiming the deceased’s assets.
Shai said she struggled with some of these challenges after she lost her actor husband, who committed suicide by hanging himself in the garage of their Dobsonville, Soweto, home earlier this year.
This is why she founded the Widows Club movement, an initiative that assists people who have lost their partners.
The club is scheduled to be launched on December 15 at Castle Kyalami in Midrand.
Shai said the initiative, founded under the Shai Foundation in collaboration with Wisdom Mobile, aims to assist widows and widowers with legal matters and therapy as they mourn their loved ones.
“I have heard that widows are ill-treated and never understood how and by whom, until it happened to me. My biggest sin was I never cried from the time I saw him hanging, until he was buried at his funeral. When people were coming in and out to comfort me in the earlier days, I would often be told to cry because neighbours, family and friends would think I killed him”.
Shai said she suffered the most from the people she expected to comfort her and because her husband was a public figure, “just about anyone” felt they had the right to judge her mourning ways.
Shai said few people understood the pain she went through after finding her husband dead, with the matter still under investigation.
“Let me share why it pains me so much. In the morning he woke me up and said ‘ntwana, I am really sorry.’ I told him that it was okay because we spoke the previous night and he did not need to worry about anything. Then I told him it was too early, and I was taking a nap, he was okay with it, and I went to sleep for two hours.
“When I woke up, I wanted to see him, and I found him lifeless in the garage. Oh, how my heart was shattered. I still regret taking that nap because I feel I could have found a way to save his life.
“The matter is still under investigation because the wife is the first suspect, our phones were with the police as part of the investigation. Why should widows suffer all these pains? It is a lot to deal with and I need to help fellow widows and widowers through the pain and suffering of not just losing your partner, but the abuse that follows the heartbreak,” she said.
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