Johannesburg – Chef Siba, we are so proud of your stunning restaurant in Cape Town.
Who looks after your hubby as you are always busy? We could, as we found five minutes to spare.
• Alleged bishop Jessica Mbangeni was spotted at a shoe launch trying on some free shoes.
I wonder what the Vatican thinks.
I wonder how many bishops attend shoe launches.
Can you invite us next time?
• Poor Minnie Dlamini-Jones was laughed at for about 16 hours when she tweeted about getting super excited as a toddler every time she saw Noxolo Grootboom on screen.
She was branded a liar, as a four years is deemed too young. Please ignore them, beautiful one.
• Can somebody please tell DJ Sbu never to comb or cut his hair because it is a huge turn on.
• Is Mapaseka still with Thabo Mokwele or have things changed? Change is good, we hear.
• Can Black Coffee teach these male celebs to be sweeter? We spotted him surrounded by a couple that was evidence that bad clothes do happen to good people. We were not green with envy.
• So sad that Thabo Madilola, the hottest male at the SABC, also left on Wednesday. Hopefully he will reunite at a better and financially stable TV station.
Who will be reading Helen Zille’s book Stay Woke – Go Broke? Will she reveal if she also thinks Mmusi Maimane was the opposition party’s experiment gone wrong?
What took Thandiwe Newton 30-odd years to change her name? Is she moving to Africa too?
Is Keeno-Lee Hector a taken man? After seeing him in an award-winning film, Barakat, and the new series Die Sentrum, this week, Shwa wants to eat up this yummy singer-turned-actor.
Would Sarah Langa swap her boyfriend for Kabza De Small?
How does Teko Modise become the face of a shaving brand when he has like three facial hairs? Shwa likes her men with a beard that connects.
Can Gugu Kathi tell us what straatmeit classes she attended before joining Real Housewives of Durban? Did she land the first blow?
Are the Bond creators that desperate for a black Bond that they are considering Bridgerton’s hottie, Regé-Jean Page, for the part? He may be pretty, but he ain’t no bad boy with skills.
So Big Zulu has finally embraced street drip. He actually owns a pair of sneakers, what a beautiful surprise, boetie. Please keep up the new look. It makes you look decades younger.
While Noxolo Grootboom was extremely loved, especially by Minnie Dlamini, is naming an SABC studio after her really necessary? Bathong!
Was Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma drunk on hot cross buns before the Easter weekend?
She sent Shwa into a dizzy spin after being told we can’t transport our happy juice and then doing a 360º turn with a mere sorry.
No mama! Some of us will die from a heart attack.
Did the loved up Love Islanders Chris and Kitty honestly think they would last after leaving the show? If Somizi and Mohale couldn’t make it work, who are you?
• Why are folks shocked that gospel star Dr Tumi and wife were arrested for alleged fraud? We should rather be asking who in SA is not corrupt?
• What is Danny K doing with his time these days? Still making bad R&B music?
• Can Bheki Cele explain why Cape Town gangsters should fear 200 more cops? Is it an April Fools’ joke? Does he forget these thugs don’t even run away from the military?
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