Johannesburg – Shwa found herself in memory lane this week, attending an event to mark the 4 000 episodes of Scandal! Has it been around for that long? Shwa is truly getting old. I hope to age with dignity.
Does Scandal! harbour ambitions of being a fossil like The Bold and the Beautiful and Days of our Lives. We hope not. Before I hurt feelings, please accompany yours in gossip down memory lane.
Who still remembers when Maletsati played by Joyce Skefu, who gave a whole biscuit to Lucas, played by the immensely talented Sello Maake Ka-Ncube?
The thought of them shacking still traumatises me to this day. That was a scandal indeed. Bra Eddie, played by the late Sandy Mokwena, was the original Wa Jellwa.
What would the soapie be without Neo Mokhethi (Jerry Mofokeng Wa Makhetha)?
The crime lord has kept many glued to the small screens with his riveting performances. Few bring to life gangster chatter like the old man.
Do you see? Shwa is not all bad. But wait! Has anyone seen Neo french-kissing anyone on screen, or are those things not allowed for the oldies?
Shwa would have paid top dollar to see Neo make out with Yvonne (Kgomotso Christopher) at a back of a car, nogal. Yes, I said it!
Still, on Yvonne, her legendary fights with Boniswa Langa (Lusanda Mbane) over a man were something to behold.
Brighton Ngoma (Quinton Nyathi) did well to leave the show last year, 10 years in one production is always a risk to one’s career. Did you ever get a new gig? Shwa is worried. You’re a talented man.
Some of you are stuck in unhappy marriages because of what you would have learnt from the overly submissive Zinzile (Gcina Nkosi).
The woman could tolerate nonsense-and-a-half all for Mlungisi’s (Patrick Mofokeng) pleasure.
Bo MoGirl, don’t be Zinzile to any broke dude, rather be Dintle (Mapaseka Koetle) and humble guys who think they are happening.
Talking about Zintle, who is she dating? Because wow! The girl’s got looks and booty for days.
In a country where white people massacre our names daily, the introduction of Timothy Jones, played by Charlie Bouguenon, was a breath of fresh air. The Setswana-speaking character made us almost forgive and forget our horrible past. Talk about social cohesion. Hey Charlie, do you also speak Setswana in bed?
Can Shwa try you out?
Let’s not forget the telenovela also gave us real-life romance in the form of Hungani Ndlovu and Stephanie Sandows, who played Romeo and Ingrid.
The two make such a beautiful pair despite Hungani’s beef with yours in gossip. Are you still suing Shwa darling, or the lawyers prevailed on you? Shwa always wonders why a talent such as Masasa Lindiwe Mbangeni (Thembeka Shezi) has not made it internationality.
She is one of the greats in her craft. Shwa really enjoyed her character. But who remembers when she killed a man on her wedding day and put him in a dustbin?
Mthunzi Mayiza (Bongile Mantsai) must be the most hated character of all time. One would cringe watching the soapie while he was around. Do you purposely audition for these roles?
Or read the latest from Shwashwi here.
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