Valentine’s month is usually about romance, reservations, and roses. But behind the candlelit dinners, many couples are quietly battling a far less glamorous reality: money stress.
New findings from JustMoney’s Money & Me Survey reveal a stark gender gap in financial well-being.
A worrying 42% of women report feeling financially stressed, compared with 34% of men, a difference that speaks to deeper inequalities in income, security and financial confidence.
Instead of another fleeting luxury, experts suggest that the most meaningful investment couples can make this Valentine’s is a transparent conversation about money, what some are now calling a “money date”.
Couples need honesty and shared goals
While flowers and fine dining are classic gestures of love, they do little to address the underlying issues that strain relationships.
According to the Money & Me Survey, men and women often approach money from very different starting points.
Women tend to be more pragmatic out of necessity. If handed R1 000, 75% of women would spend it on groceries, compared to 67% of men.
Similarly, 75% of women say they shop based on specials, while only 67% of men are guided by discounts when deciding where to spend.
This practicality closely aligns with the realities of income. Only 36% of women earn more than R10 000 a month, compared with 47% of men.
As a result, just 9% of women feel confident about their income, while 42% say they feel worried about their financial situation.
“How well partners manage money can ultimately make or break their bond,” explains Sarah Nicholson, customer experience manager at JustMoney.
“Couples don’t need to view money in the same way or earn the same amount, but they do need honesty, clarity and shared goals.
“Open financial conversations are important for everyone. While men and women may approach money differently, effective money management is relevant for any couple, regardless of gender.”
Transparency is equally important
To help couples navigate money without it becoming a source of conflict, JustMoney recommends starting with honest, judgement-free conversations.
Acknowledging different financial approaches is key. We should treat these differences with empathy rather than criticism, even if one partner is a saver and the other a spender.
When handled well, they can strengthen a relationship instead of straining it.
Transparency is equally important. Being open about your income, debt, credit records, and financial obligations builds trust. Vague or evasive answers about money can quickly erode confidence in a relationship.
Couples can decide how to share expenses like housing, groceries, transport, and childcare by creating a simple monthly budget.
Budgeting together, even when finances remain separate, prevents resentment. Contributions don’t need to be equal, but they should feel fair to both partners.
Aligning long-term goals also makes day-to-day budgeting more meaningful. Whether it’s buying a house, starting a family, travelling or building long-term security, shared goals give financial decisions direction.
Debt, too, needs to be tackled openly. The survey shows that men are more likely to borrow from financial institutions, while women are 21% more likely to borrow from family or friends.
Agreeing on how debt will be managed, particularly high-interest repayments, can significantly reduce pressure.
Family commitments should not be overlooked. Supporting parents, siblings or children from previous relationships affects saving ability.
Those supporting four or more family members have only a 6% chance of saving 10% or more of their income each month.
Men are more inclined toward gambling
Often, couples neglect to save and protect their assets until they have surplus funds, which leaves them vulnerable.
Planning savings upfront, building an emergency fund, and discussing what would happen if one partner lost their job or became ill can prevent major strain later.
Insurance gaps are another concern. Young women were identified as the most underinsured group, increasing their financial vulnerability.
While 38% of women and 32% of men pay for two or more funeral policies, often for extended family, this can mean they are underprotected when it comes to income protection, disability or medical cover.
Investment decisions also require honest discussion. The survey shows that men are twice as likely as women to invest in cryptocurrency and are more inclined toward gambling as a way to stretch money.
Couples should discuss their comfort with risk, whether they are investing jointly or individually, and ensure their overall strategy is diversified rather than duplicated.
“It’s important that money conversations are about planning for the future, not policing each other’s spending,” says Nicholson.
“Healthy financial relationships are built through ongoing conversations. Regular check-ins help couples adjust their budgets and goals as life changes, and they stop small issues from becoming major disagreements.”
