Girls often enter a relationship because they need necessities.
This is according to a research study by Noxolo Sibisi, a University of KwaZulu-Natal student who recently earned a Master’s degree in Social Science.
Her thesis, “An Exploration of the Exposure of High School Teenagers to Gender-Based Violence with Specific Focus on Intimate Partner Violence: A Case of a Selected School in Inchanga, KwaZulu-Natal,” focuses on intimate partner violence (IPV) in a space that is often overlooked: schools.
Her work captures the nuanced experiences of teenagers grappling with violence in their early romantic relationships.
“I was inspired by what I saw happening around me, the rising cases of gender-based violence (GBV), especially in communities already facing economic and social challenges,” said Sibisi.
Her study revealed a clear pattern of social, economic, and cultural pressures shaping the way teenagers experience and normalise IPV.
“Many of these learners are growing up in homes where male dominance is considered normal. That idea gets carried into their relationships. Girls, in particular, were vulnerable to manipulation, often mistaking controlling behaviour for love.
“Some thought being told what to wear or who to talk to meant someone cared deeply about them. One harrowing case involved a 17-year-old girl who endured physical and emotional abuse from her boyfriend. He demanded access to her phone, controlled her social life, and hit her when she didn’t comply.
“She didn’t leave because she depended on him for money and feared being judged by others. This story wasn’t an isolated incident, it reflected the reality of many teenagers,” Sibisi explained.
She also found that economic hardship played a major role in sustaining abusive dynamics. “Girls often entered relationships because they needed basic things, such as money for food or data. That trapped them once the abuse began.
“Boys, too, weren’t immune to toxic pressures, with some feeling they had to assert dominance to be seen as ‘real men,’” she added.
Sibisi also highlighted how social media became a double-edged sword. While it created awareness about GBV and allowed victims to seek support, it also became a tool for control and harassment.
“Teenagers monitored each other’s online activity obsessively. Jealousy, digital blackmail, even public shaming, all of it played out online,” she noted.
Despite the severity of the issue, school-based support was almost non-existent. “Teachers were aware, but didn’t know how to handle it. With the stigma around reporting abuse, many learners remained silent. These young people were dealing with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, which started to affect their schoolwork. Some skipped class or dropped out entirely. Social isolation was common, especially for girls who were cut off from their peers by possessive partners,” she said.
Sibisi hopes her research will spark change. “Intimate partner violence among teenagers is real, and it’s harming our future adults. We need to stop dismissing their relationships as ‘puppy love’ for many, that love comes with fear, pain, and silence.”
She believes early intervention is critical. “Schools need to teach what healthy relationships look like. We also need peer-support groups, trained counsellors, and parental involvement. Teenagers need to know how to protect themselves online, too.”
