True masculinity is a force for good and if men are healed and restored, South Africa can stop destructive masculine behaviour in its tracks.
This is according to Craig Wilkinson, founder and CEO of Father A Nation, a non-profit company that encourages positive masculinity in South Africa.
Wilkinson said gender-based violence (GBV) can be eradicated before it starts, noting that a solution to toxic masculinity is healthy masculinity.
Crime statistics
This after second-quarter crime statistics showed that women were victims in 1 514 incidents of attempted murder, a 18.6% increase from 1 277 recorded in 2022.
Women were also victims in 14 401 assault with intent to cause grievous bodily harm incidents in the second quarter, up by 5.1% from more than 13 701 in 2022.
“Many men and women in this country grow up without the presence of a father or positive male figure,” said Wilkinson.
“This often results in paternal wounds and destructive beliefs about masculinity, with young men looking to figures such as gangsters, abusers or absent fathers as role models.”
Wilkinson said men have a critical role of shaping the minds of boys and young men.
He said: “We work throughout South Africa with boys and men at schools, universities, in communities and organisations in both the public and private sector.
“We meet these men where they are at, from taverns to corporations and sports fields.
“Over 300 000 men have gone through our programmes over the past 10 years, either through soccer tournaments, tavern conversations, dialogues or workshops in communities and camps.
“Our philosophy at Father A Nation is that if we can heal men, we can heal the world.
“We focus on working with men to become excellent fathers, mentors, role models and just good men.”
Wounded men
He added that men are the primary perpetrators of physical and sexual GBV.
“While it’s critical to create awareness and support victims; ideally we don’t want victims at all, and the way to stop that happening is to stop wounded men from being abusive.
“We hear from men who say they were abusers but didn’t know until they attended a session with us. We have met many women who thank us for teaching their partners to be better men.”
He said addressing the issues that prevent men from being able to conduct themselves as the natural born leaders, builders, and fathers that they are begins with approaching them with compassion, not blame.
“We look deeply into the reasons why men abuse with the understanding that a reason is not an excuse.
“Holding men accountable needs not take away from this most fundamental need for people to be treated like their feelings matter.”
