The President of the Congress of Traditional Leaders in South Africa (Contralesa), Kgoshi Lameck Mokoena, has called on men to embrace traditional sex muthi (herbal medicine) to improve their performance in the bedroom, arguing that this could reduce gender-based violence (GBVF) fuelled by insecurity and jealousy.
Addressing a crowd at the provincial launch of the 16 Days of No Violence Against Women and Children campaign in Elukwatini, Mpumalanga, on Tuesday, Mokoena spoke candidly about men’s struggles with self-esteem. Particularly when their partners achieve economic success.
Urged men to confront their insecurities
“There are men who are cowards. They are scared of us as men but take advantage of women. We are urging them to stop that behaviour,” he said. He urged men to confront their insecurities rather than lashing out at their partners.
Mokoena’s remarks come amid reports that rural areas with limited educational resources often see higher rates of GBVF. As a senior traditional leader, his message is expected to cascade down through other leaders. It will be used by chiefs, indunas, and other community leaders to promote behavioural change.
Mokoena was speaking as the chairperson of the Mpumalanga House of Traditional Leaders. He highlighted the issue of men feeling inferior when their wives achieve higher-paying positions. Or when they take pride in their appearance.
“There are also men who have an inferiority complex. When your wife gets a higher-paying position at work, you feel inferior. When your wife loves being clean and dressing nice, you develop jealousy,” he said.
“I don’t remember there being a department or company where they only hire women. Some women get into trouble every time they come back from work.”
He criticised men who jump to conclusions about their wives’ fidelity. He labelled such behaviour as “ignorant” and a sign of insecurity.
Sensitive topic of libido and sexual dysfunction
He touched on the sensitive topic of libido and sexual dysfunction. Mokoena attributed some cases of GBVF to frustrations arising from low sexual performance. He urged men to seek help from traditional leaders for herbal remedies to address the issue.
“Some men don’t use traditional herbs. So when they can no longer perform, they behave strangely,” he said.
“We are saying to you, come to us, your traditional leaders. And we will tell you where to go for help, so that you can perform better. If you are unable to perform and you see your wife leaving the house, you begin to suspect her. [You suspect] that she is going to those who know how to perform. When she returns, she is in trouble. This is nonsense.”
To a round of applause from women in attendance, Mokoena called for men to appreciate their wives and show them respect.
“Can you imagine being a long-married man and referring to your wife as ‘Sesi’s mother’? No. When she sits next to chiefs like us, we begin to address her correctly,” he said.
“The house of traditional leaders is making a clarion call: ‘Down with women abuse, down’.”
Mpumalanga Premier Mandla Ndlovu also addressed the gathering. He emphasised the importance of the 16 Days campaign. Its importance in raising awareness and advocating for women’s and children’s rights.
Public Protector findings paint a worrying picture
“We have taken cognisance of the findings of the Public Protector. After an investigation on a sample of 38 courts throughout the country. Based… on their compliance and ability to discharge their duties as courts. Especially with regard to the protection of victims of GBVF,” Ndlovu said.
He acknowledged the report’s findings of administrative failures within the justice system. And he pledged to work with the Departments of Justice and Correctional Services and Social Development. Also with the South African Police Service, to address these deficiencies.
“The report points to glaring administrative deficiencies relating to the processing of GBVF-related matters. This is… within the South African criminal justice system. We will work hard to identify the causes of such deficiencies. And will take corrective measures,” Ndlovu added.
Mokoena and Ndlovu’s messages serve as a reminder of the urgent need for collective efforts. This to tackle GBVF and create safer communities for women and children.
