Johannesburg- We have 11 official languages, but there are also unofficial official languages that many of us are fluent in. Take Bantlish, for example. It is English with a Bantu twist. Or simply, English laced with good intentions.
I say good intentions because, when we speak Bantlish, we are trying to be as close to the real thing as we can under the circumstances, which vary given our first languages, history and backgrounds.
Bantlish, then, is a mixture of English with factors that influence how people interact with their fifth or sixth language as if it were their first language.
So, when we say: the ice-cream is “smelting”, our heart is in the right place. Our intention is not to butcher the Queen’s language.
Sometimes our head knows that there’s “smelt” and “melt”, but at that moment when the ice is turning to water, the last thing on our minds is the small matter of whether to use or not use an “s”.
It is a predicament we sometimes face late in the evening when we remember we forgot to remove the day’s laundry off the washing line.
With the abundance of rain in recent weeks, and the possibility of the clothes being rained over or blown away by the sometimes strong winds, we are better off doing the sensible thing. That is taking the laundry off the washing line, no matter how late in the night it is.
So, do not be alarmed when we shout “please bring the ‘monkey’ for the clothes”.
“Monkey” is Bantlish for basket. But if we were to ask for a basket, we would have to explain which basket because there are many baskets, but there’s only one “monkey”.
And most Bantlish speakers hate “njections” – give us pills for our ailments, but not a “njection”. That thing is sore.
One thing is for sure, though, is that we love sweets. There’s nothing like finishing off a “seven colours” Sunday lunch with sweets. Custard with jelly or canned peaches are still a hit to this day.
Speaking of food, each family has that one member who is a “cooker” of note.
Most of them didn’t even study to become “cookers”, they just have the “spillion” to do it. Some are so good they end up running their own successful food and catering businesses.
Another business that is in high demand is that of “stop nonsenses”.
With the high levels of crime in South Africa a “stop nonsense” is a necessity, “irregardless” of your location.
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