It’s safer to play with yourself than strangers

By Kuli Roberts

I’m not sure if people are aware of how dangerous Covivi is and the impact of its negative results because nobody seems to care. All these precautions are necessary but you lot want to stick to each other as if you just met. Move. Practice social distancing. Why are you hugging me? Do you even know whether I’ve got the deadly virus? Hell, do I even know?

Do you know how filthy your hands are, which are not washed prior to praying or fondling oneself in the ladies? Nobody else does that?

A few nights ago, the president once again called a family meeting to announce an extension of the state of disaster regulations because you people don’t listen, putting so many at risk.

Social distancing entails just that – staying away from strangers. We know some are great for one-night stands, but please, just stay away. You can’t be on dating apps with intentions of exchanging body fluids during Covid. Staying away from strangers was taught to you when you were younger.

You are older now and, yes, it still applies. Stay away from their body parts, their tongues and especially ensure you don’t touch them; rather play with yourself. Easy too!

Don’t touch yourself with filthy hands, either. It’s unbelievable that we have to be
reminded to stop groping ourselves too. Yet some of you use snakes to enrich yourselves.

You are advised to wash your hands frequently because we are filthy as a species. If you’re not removing snot, you are touching or adjusting your scrotum. Of course, that’s when you’re not patting your dandruff everywhere and then shaking hands.

In general, humans are filthy; what else do you call people who have ruined a planet to the extent of littering oceans?

You would think the ocean would inspire cleanliness but not to a people who wash their underwear in bulk. You filthy lot will let faeces sit in a laundry basket for a week instead of washing it daily. You do not wash your hands often enough, are all over each other like a human centipede at events and definitely have stopped wearing masks because some of you believe it ruins your make-up.

We must do better for the next generation, so please refrain from encouraging the death of so many with your filthy habits. Some of you are thought to be in polonecks but it’s filthy necks.

Wash, my friend, and keep a social distance. I’m not sure if you are pickpocketing each other, but stay away from each other. Practice social distancing.

So, it’s simple: don’t touch them, as they play with themselves before shaking your hand. They don’t wash those hands but make you food. Why do you think you always have pubic hair in your food?

They are all filthy and you could be too … go wash your hands and stay there. Yeer! Social distancing should have been a dance.

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