One of the few good men I know is my former colleague, Kevin. I worked with him for years and never heard him utter an expletive. The eldest in a team of nine, Kev was the epitome of a gentleman.
He neither drank nor smoked. When we shared the latest sex tapes that surfaced in the office, Kevin would neither watch nor share an opinion. A family man and doting father, he always sought to guide us to be upright.
I did my best to corrupt him, without success. I once bought him a bottle of wine for his birthday, knowing very well he would thank me and return it to sender – I was happy to empty it.
One time he had stiff shoulders and sought my counsel.
I recommended the services of a masseuse and gave him the address. Upon arrival, the receptionist read him the options available, which included a massage with happy ending. Kevin did not understand this option, and I was only too happy to explain that massage with a happy ending meant he would get a complimentary roll in the hay to conclude the session.
He left the establishment in shock as I rolled on the floor laughing. The poor sod did not even know such services existed.
This episode came to mind when the news broke that Finance Minister Enoch Godongwana was embroiled in a sex drama involving a masseuse at a five-star hotel in the Kruger National Park.
The lady alleges the minister fondled her during a massage session. A complaint has been laid with the police while the minister expressed shock and vehemently denied soliciting sex, claiming his wife was with him throughout the massage session.
Godongwana is not the first finance minister to be embroiled in a sex scandal. In 2019, Sunday World revealed a love triangle involving his predecessor Tito Mboweni, minister Gwede Mantashe and a Pretoria slay queen.
Lerato Makgatho disclosed that Mboweni was tight with money and was also not a freak in bed because “he wanted us to switch off the lights and cover ourselves, but Mantashe was a tiger in bed”.
Who can forget that sex video where former finance minister Malusi Gigaba is polishing his sword and asking: “Can you imagine this in your mouth?” Gigaba claimed his phone had been hacked.
While the Godongwana matter is more serious and may still be ventilated in court, the last thing we need to hear about are the penile peccadilloes of the holders of our national purse.
I will vouch for Kevin to be our next finance minister because at least he will keep his eyes on the ball.
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