I love politics more than I do my mother, ncese Ngubane ntombi kamaNdaba. Politics make me laugh, they make me cry – the latter, she doesn’t.
At the weekend, as I was watching the rain fall, wondering exactly how that occurs, I found more reasons why I love politics, not science, because I realised that finding the answer is beyond my grasp.
I then shifted my gaze to something I could at least convince myself I knew. What do the leaves tell me – the political tea leaves, that is?
A few years ago, I wrote off Paul Mashatile. It was clear to me, my non-scientific brain, that Gauteng shoved him down the national ANC throat to get rid of him. Gauteng was sure that the national spotlight would tamper his ambition.
For that entire first year of Mashatile as ANC deputy president, I was beating my chest in triumphalist rhythm…
I was right. His demonisation in the media told me so.
Up to May last year, he was a dead man walking.
Then June came with the government of national unity (GNU); this new term that seemed to come out of left field, breathed life into his lungs.
Paul became Lazarus – raised from the dead.
It was unclear to me until then who the owners of democracy would instal as ANC president at the next internal election when the Phala Phala man retires.
Before June, if Mashatile was in Cape Town, the owners of democracy wanted Pollsmoor to be his address but if he happened upon Pretoria, Kgosi Mampuru would do just fine.
Now they are lining up Genadendal and Mahlamba Ndlopfu as alternatives.
So, what happened? Why is Mashatile now the SA Inc heir apparent?
You got it – his newfound love for the government of national unity has cleansed him.
Mashatile probably won’t appreciate it now but it will come to him in the future. There by the grace of Gedle goes he.
Don’t worry, I will decode, but I need to take you back.
Before the election, the owners of democracy wanted to “rescue” the country from the ANC. So, various schemes were thrashed out, including the Moonshot Pact.
Then Jacob Zuma, both a curse and a blessing, came down the Mabengela Mountains of Nkandla riding a fit as a fiddle steed named MKP.
First, he knocked the ANC down to 40% – the blessing to the moonshotters but that also cleared a pathway to power for his MKP and the EFF, the curse.
Those who had hoped to beat back the ANC had reasoned the 14% that went to MKP would instead come to them to give them a slim majority.
Let me digress again. By the way, why do the media refer to MKP as Zuma’s MKP – is MKP not distinct enough from MK to need an adjective? Isn’t MK dead, anyway?
American media have also been calling the Republican Party, Maga Republicans or Trump’s Republicans because they hoped putting the dirty face of a hated man on the party, would manipulate the electorate into voting for someone else.
It didn’t quite pan out that way.
Anyway, the MKP surprise has the owners of democracy shaking in their boots.
If the ANC loses further ground, chances are its loss would pay a dividend to the MKP.
In other words, their strategy to kill the ANC is growing, not their sweethearts, but the devil they despise.
Before the election, they thought they were done with Zuma – and Julius Malema, for that matter – hence their schemes focused on the next devil, Mashatile.
Now because Mashatile is saying all the right things about the GNU, he’s become a messiah. Whiter than the sands of Tulum Beach in Mexico.
Part of the reason the ANC dipped below 50% was an antagonist media.
In the next four years, I expect to see more of Mashatile in my lounge – and all for good news.
But post the municipal elections next year, if MKP shows signs of growth, the owners of democracy will ensure he takes up residence in your home. Don’t say I didn’t tell you.
In 2029, expect a bigger ANC, perhaps bigger than 55% with the media on its side.
If that triggers you, remember it’s not my fault – it’s the tea leaves, abated by the rain.
• Mzwandile kaBizokwakhe is a freelance columnist with obviously too much time on his hands to think silly things
