Johannesburg – This festive season promises to be one long, awkward holiday.
I cannot imagine myself having to party to Gee Six Five’s Obani Lababantu song!
The song has gone viral and it looks certain that this granny will close 2020. Please wake me up on January 2 when the nightmare is over!
Mjaivo gods have spoken and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.
She is the chosen one.
Being Shwashwi is such a huge sport, I swear. Imagine having to attend a godly affair like the Joyous Celebration launch with a massive hangover.
The night before the event this gossiper had a sinful time with her real-life friends.
Imagine having to attend a holy event tipsy. I must confess, the event held at the Soweto Theatre was sobering.
I was so touched by the music that I found myself secretly sobbing in repentance for all my sins. Babbalased as I was, I looked so good that one of the guests mistook me for an angel.
From there, off I went to my favourite people. The ohso- lovely Chief Yanga was launching his album, Pop Star. The intimate affair was held at Constitutional Hill. Drinks of all flavours and alcohol content were flowing like the River Jordan and the food was enough to feed all the Limpopo hail victims.
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Events should consider doggy bags! My favorite rapper AKA showed up to support Yanga.
The rapper with an inflated ego looked so good in all black.
Also on the guest list was rapper JR, who seems to be enjoying being on the heavy side of life. Clearly, Tshepi Vundla is a feeder judging by his full figure, unless being a stay-at-home dad agrees with him.
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It has been days since the event and I am still trying to figure out why he accepted the invite because he looked out of place.
Friends of this gossiper, do yourself a favour and get Yanga’s album.
You won’t regret it. From there this party animal headed to Lebo Mashile’s Hyundai jamboree.
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It was refreshing to see Mpumi Mlambo, whom we owe a huge debt of gratitude for keeping us company during the lockdown as the presenter of the lockdown parties.
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It was nice seeing soccer player Thembinkosi Lorch not beating up girls for once. He was partying up a tornado with some relevant people.
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Please introduce Shwashwi to your friends. Shwashwi also spotted the mysterious Terry Pheto, who looked so cute in a short dress.
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I just wish there was more to say about Terry… but she is still as dull as ever. What can we do to wake this lady up?
You will be happy to know that 80s hunk Mdu Masilela is still a hottie.
His handsome self was also there, looking like he stepped off a GQ magazine cover.
Still on hot human beings, I also bumped into Brian Baloyi. I can confirm he is still hunky and humble. Brian, if you ever consider opening a relationship branch outside your marriage, I am here to head that department. Remember Relo, the first lady of Skwatta Kamp? I spotted her looking good for a one-hit wonder.
Rural girl singer Candy Samandebele also showed face. I am sure she is the coolest in her entire village.
I spotted some glorified influencer who gets paid in goodie bags.
I don’t want to mention her name in these prestigious gossip pages lest she believe that she is a celebrity. Girl, you are annoying.
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