Mapaseka “Pasi” Koetle, the powerhouse actress who brought Dintle Nyathi to life on Scandal!, has opened up about the two most defining heartbreaks of her life, her divorce and her father’s absence.
In the latest episode of the Engineer Your Life podcast, titled “I Chose Forgiveness and Letting Go”, the 36-year-old star peeled back the curtain on her private battles with pain, healing, and forgiveness.
Known for her fierce characters on screen, Koetle revealed a softer, deeply vulnerable side that resonated with listeners across Mzansi.
Divorce painful, not scandalous
Speaking candidly, Koetle described her divorce from businessman Nelson Nyokong as “painful” but not scandalous.
“It did not work out,” she admitted, insisting that there were no horror stories behind the split.
She made it clear that her marriage story remains sacred. “It’s a sacred story,” she said. She added that she would prefer to share it only alongside her ex-husband, out of respect for both sides.
The couple’s separation quietly began in 2019, before being confirmed publicly in February 2023. The two had built a life together that included their daughter Nema, born in 2016. They even launched a business venture, Gorge Sandton, in 2018.
Koetle shared how she has learned to “find the light again, deal with the pain, and detach from the idea that nothing is truly mine”. Her healing journey now revolves around co-parenting.
“Some days it gets really hard… but I realise that Nema keeps me going,” she said.
Healing through forgiveness
Koetle’s philosophy on forgiveness didn’t just come from her divorce. It stretches back to her childhood. When her parents divorced, she was only 8-years-old, and her father’s absence left her carrying deep anger and hurt.
“It took a while. I decided that I don’t want to be this angry anymore, So I decided to forgive him. I forgave my father but did not tell him.”
That act of silent forgiveness, she revealed, was the breakthrough she needed. By releasing bitterness without needing to confront him, she found peace. The lesson shaped how she approached her own divorce years later. It allowed her to walk away with dignity rather than resentment.
Being a public figure, Koetle acknowledged the pressure of going through heartbreak under the spotlight. But instead of letting gossip or public opinion define her, she chose to share her story in her own words.
