Reality TV star Tshepo Miya has opened up about his journey on the show, the challenges in his marriage, and what it has been like navigating love under the spotlight.
Miya reflected on the lessons learnt, the cracks that began to show early in his marriage, and how he had been coping with the pressures of television fame.
He revealed that his decision to join the show stemmed from frustration with his traditional dating experiences.
“I joined the show because my traditional way of starting relationships had not worked, and I thought this would be an ideal way to see what is out there for me,” he explained.
When he first met his wife, Palesa, Miya said he was filled with mixed emotions but ultimately hopeful.
“There were so many things that went through my mind; however, I was hopeful,” he recalled.
Ahead of filming, Miya sought guidance from his therapist to mentally prepare for the experiment.
“One can never be fully prepared for such an experiment; you need to take it as it comes, but I did have a long conversation with my therapist,” he said, adding that the best advice he received was to focus only on what he could control.
Honeymoon phase
However, cracks in his marriage appeared much earlier than expected.
“The cracks in my marriage began during the honeymoon phase when my wife asked me not to communicate directly with women in production.
“She wanted all communication redirected through her, and I found that strange, as we were still getting to know each other,” Miya revealed.
Pressure to maintain a picture-perfect front for the cameras often fuelled conflict, he revealed.
“During the day, outside of shooting, there were issues that I would raise, but I was told that we need to ‘nip them in the bud’ and ensure we appear okay. My issue is that I cannot pretend if I’m not okay; then I am not okay.”
Miya attributed his off-screen tension with fellow cast member Makoto to her intense confrontations with Nkululeko.
“I have never wanted to surround myself with unruly people who can just say whatever they want without showing some kind of respect – not only for their partners but for us as well,” he said.
Wonderful brotherhood
Despite the drama, Miya believes the experience has toughened him.
“I have learnt that I have tougher skin than I initially thought. People will always form opinions, good or bad, but the only thing you can do is continue being yourself.”
Watching his own appearances on television has been a bittersweet experience.
“While I have taken a lot of online bullying and assumptions, I am comforted by those who know me, including the support from the gents. We have developed a wonderful brotherhood.”
He added that the “husbands”, as they call themselves, have been each other’s safe space since the bachelor party.
“We have been a great outlet for one another; the brotherhood that has come from that has been incredible, and I appreciate that.”
