Legendary actor Sello Maake kaNcube’s wife Pearl Mbewe says she takes full responsibility for the majority of their marital problems and that he has never raised his hand to her.
In a statement she sent to Sunday World, Mbewe said she sometimes hurled invectives at the internationally acclaimed thespian, shared intimate details of their union and at times failed to submit herself to him.
Mbewe said despite behaving like a harridan in chief towards Maake kaNcube he did not raise his hand on her.
Mbewe poured her heart out after allegations that Maake kaNcube beat her black and blue at the Grahamstown Festival, in Eastern Cape about a fortnight ago.
“Let me start by saying I take full responsibility for the majority of our problems and before you get alarmed, allow me to explain. I come from a single-parent background and all I have known all my life is how to survive and make things happen for and by myself.
“I live up to my nickname ‘Solo’. I found it difficult to fuss and merge myself into our relationship as I have always operated on my own and not really accountable to anyone as an adult that is. My personality soon made way for a series of events which resulted in my husband and I finding ourselves with the difficult decision of where to divorce me or not,” she stated.
Mbewe also attributed the faltering three-year-old nuptial to Maake kaNcube to her discussing their intimate details with her pretentious friends.
“Every woman is warned against discussing their relationship issues with friends, regardless [of whether] you are married or not. One of my biggest mistakes is that I talked with people about my marital problems, even those that I was too blind to see were not happy for me in general.
“This caused a huge strive between my husband and I as he expressed that he now feels uncomfortable in the company of some people as he knows that I have over shared intimate details of our marital problems but not having shared my contribution towards our problems. I’m yet to undo the damage that was caused by this and I’m yet to do right by it even though I don’t know how. I guess we all learn certain lessons the hard way,” she said in the statement.
Mbewe revealed that she failed to exercise restraint whenever an argument erupted with her husband, saying she swears at him.
“This is the part that is very sad and extremely disturbing because, looking back we honestly wouldn’t be where we are now if I stayed present in each and every moment of my life with my husband.
“One thing my husband did was to open up his life to me, this includes his pin codes to his phones and bank accounts. Not many women can say their husbands do this and yet to me it still felt like he was not doing enough, enough of what I don’t even know myself.
“There are issues that have hindered our relationship and marriage because of unchanged behaviour. Firstly, I don’t do well with emotional communication and I check out as soon as my husband initiates it and this is very often, if not daily.
“I have found myself swearing at my husband during arguments and have gone as far as calling him m@#cker among many other things. I have neglected to blend our families as I should and, more importantly our children. I have driven us to living one but separate lives.
“Many people actually think that I have a controlling husband as for example he will call to check when I’m back from a meeting and at first it used to bother me, in time I got to understand the reason behind the calls,” she pointed out.
She further stated that despite henpecking him and giving curtain lessons, Maake kaNcube did not assault him.
“As I have narrated, our issues in our marriage are not special to or unique to us, we are a married couple and disagreements and arguments will always be there but that does not mean we don’t love each other. Yes, we had an argument and whatever else its called in the media. I would like to unequivocally state that my husband has never laid his hand on me.
“I can confidently say he will never lay his hands on me because I have been living with him for the past four years and trust me, I know myself. If he hasn’t raised his hands on me after all these years, believe me when I say he never will.
“Ordinarily, I would have kept quiet and not have said anything on this matter but I can’t just sit on the sidelines and watch people castrate my husband’s character on baseless allegations.
“Ntate Sello has given himself to the cause of being a better man than what he is now and it’s unfair to watch all this work go down the drain due to assumptions.
“GBV is a serious issue in our country and I would never compromise myself by defending my husband if he was indeed a perpetrator,” she said.
Great woman, Selly is a great man, but just unfortunate that they are going thru rough times. My opinion is that in any relationship, both parties are equally guilty, no truth surface when there is argument.
Thank you for being so honest. Many a man have been falsely accused of gender based violence and partners never came back to do what you did. You are indeed a good person, who acknowledges that she is not perfect.
Luv you sister.