Red flags existed before the abuse began, according to actress Shoki Mmola, who shared details of her abusive marriage to fellow actor Sello Sebotsane.
Speaking on the King David Studio podcast, Mmola said that sometimes she would apologise for things that she had not done.
Growing up, Mmola says she had everything planned out; she knew that she did not want kids out of wedlock, and whoever she would be involved with, she would love them wholeheartedly.
“The lack of a biological family was one of the things that compromised me in that situation,” she said.
“I cannot say I was there for love; I was there for structure. I never had a proper family structure, so I wanted that for my kids and future.”
The former Skeem Saam actress expressed her opinion that she should have left the marriage sooner but chose to stay too long.
Therapy session
Nevertheless, she expressed her gratitude for having done so, saying that her kids had seen everything and did not need any explanations from her.
“I stayed long for me but not for the bigger picture. There is nothing that you can explain to the girls that they do not know; they remember stuff I do not even recall.
“It breaks my heart, but at least they have an understanding.”
Mmola also disclosed that she had to go through therapy with her nanny and her children and that she does allow her children to bring up old wounds.
She claims that her nanny, who saw a lot, was the one who saved her life the night she escaped.
Mmola and Sebotsane had not spoken for weeks before the night of the ordeal, and when she got home, she called her mother to let her know she was not feeling well and that she thought something horrible would happen.
Saved by her children
“Around 1am, I was working and he asked to speak to me. I think he had been drinking, and when I said not now, he broke the glass and said we would speak now.
“As big as he was, he sat on my lap, choked, and punched me. That night, I felt nothing; it was as if he was not beating me up enough. When he was beating me up, I told him to hit me harder.”
Her children ran into the room and told him to leave her alone while she was being beaten. After managing to escape into one of the rooms, she called her nanny — who was staying in the room outside — to report the crime.
“I told her to call the police, and they immediately came because I had gone there several times to report him for other stuff, when he would hit me or vandalise the house.”
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