Johannesburg – These days Shwashwi’s party life is forever around Sandton. I am certain even the robots know the smell of my expensive perfume.
Umama ka Kairo recently invited yours truly and other media types to the launch of her music video and spared no cost.
DJ Zinhle knows how to make the likes of Shwashwi happy, I swear! She threw a gala dinner for the viewing of her Indlovu video in Sandton and invited important people like Shwashwi.
Also on the guest list were her friends and family members. The food and booze were flowing like the River Jordan.
I must confess, the party was top notch, not even a snob like me had a reason to fault it. The venue was amazing, and most guests were dressed to the nines.
The only embarrassment were Kalawa Jazmee staff members, who came looking like they were delivered by Quantum to steal expensive jewellery and cellphones.
It makes sense why the Miss Party put all of them at the back next to the sound guys. They were going to spoil the pictures.
Guys, what manner of witchcraft was that? How do you att end a posh party looking like that?
• Miss Party opted for angelic look donning a white cosset that matched white bell-bottom pants matched with sharp white pointers. At some point, she looked like a newage apostolic slay queen. She gave the media dirty looks.
Why invite us in the Hot mgosi & celebs first place if you do not want us there?
Her attitude was shocking for a former marketing something at a corporate company.
Am now assuming that you went to school and understand that journalism is being offered at universities and tabloid is a beat just like kwaito is a genre?
• Best-dressed female Moozlie, who did a stellar job as an MC, looked like a dream in a body-hugging dress that showed her perfect figure. I am glad I accepted this invite, it was a marvel to watch Moozlie MCing with such grace and professionalism.
Be that as it may, something did not sit well with your gossip girl. Why in God’s world would you allow your man to look like an expensive double bed while you are that hot? Whatever you have been feeding him can now stop. We all know he is yours; it shows.
• Enough about groceries and back to gossip. My favourite politician Julius Malema also got the invite. He looked dapper in a suit, as always.
• Let’s give legendary producer and DJ Oskido a round of applause for making an eff ort. For once, he took a bath before coming to an event. He looked so great and smelt fresh.
Shwashi is not a fan of rich people downplaying their looks by rocking cheap clothes, though.
By the way, if you ever find yourself stranded in the swanky suburb of Hyde Park, Oskido owns a guest house there.
• Winnie Khumalo’s daughter, who has one of the hottest songs out called Nyilo, looked like she was attending her matric dance. The dress was stunning, but her make-up looked like it was done by a mortuary make-up artist.
• We were also introduced to some former SA Idols runner-ups, who are now signed under Kalawa. They delivered beautiful performances. Sorry guys for not remembering your names, there were too many of you, but rest assured your performances and voices were amazing.
• DJ Tira was the best-dressed male. He looked like a delicious dessert in a bright suit.
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