Shwa is Wakanda’d the hell out. And if I see one more Seshweshwe print, I may just puke. Like, could the dress code not be more futuristic for the Black Panther: Wakanda Forever premiere held on Wednesday at the Zone in Rosebank.
I was once proud of African attire, but damn, this has been done to death. What a hot mess! It was stuffed to the brim with celebrities and wannabes – and every influencer under the Mzansi sun.
Chaos from the get-go, had to stand in the longest queue to register in my nine-inch stilettos. Only fools from planet Mars don’t know me.
The picture props were not wow … just, neh! And as for the red carpet held behind rails – one could hardly see the “important” guests show off their wow.
But who did stand out, for all the wrong reasons? Criselda Kananda gave Shwa Queen Ramonda vibes. An overgrown mess of a gown. No honey!
Somizi though, is always OTT. Ag shemmm Lovey, Shwa has run out of words. Just know your wrinkles are starting to show.
Stressful year, was it? As for your ex Palesa Madisakwane, now your hair was on theme.
Mpho Popps needs credit for his creativity with his on-fleek, on-point outfit. Dude, your star keeps rising and I couldn’t be happier for you.
If hotness had a name, it would be Mzwakhe Mbuli, no not that old hat but the new one who goes by the stage name, Robot Boii.
In fact, they should look to you to play the new Black Panther. You certainly have the physique for it.
Don’t get me started on Letticia Wright taking the Panther character, it just doesn’t suit her and had moi bawling her eyes out for Chadwick Boseman again ’cos the movie felt forced without his brilliance.
Spotted Young Stunna, like where was the sun dude? Why did you insist on wearing shades?
Moghel briefly brushed past Zakes Bantwini in his bright orange suit, and I simply adore your unique style.
What fountain of youth is Renate Stuurman drinking from? Looking younger by the day and her outfit was at least not Seshweshwe print.
Busiswa was her colourful jolly self and seemed uber-excited to be out and about.
And it was refreshing to see actor Clint Brink and his preggy wife socializing. The bambino couldn’t have asked for better parents with all those good genes.
LeAnne Kistan Dlamini and hubby Sipho were also there. I can’t understand why you chose a ballgown sisi, with sleeves as wide as Wakanda. Sometimes comfort is better than overkill.
Host Anele Mdoda has guts, confidence, and days. That kaftan didn’t do your curves any justice.
And then there was Connie Chiume – our own star with only two lines in the entire flick.
You looked gorgeous mama, and we love you. The movie was a let-down – one they really could have let slide.
And then as if that wasn’t not enough – Shwa also dragged her exhausted behind to Mall of Africa on Thursday for another night of Wakanda fever.
Mac (yes, the makeup brand) launched its Wakanda/Black Panther-inspired makeup because they stand for “confidence and inclusivity”.
What a yawn fest!
Don’t get me started about the food, epic fail! Fact is, launching the flick at a car park should have been the first red flag.
What about isdima sikaWakanda (Wakanda’s dignity)?
Quick question, must mama Connie Chiume make an appearance every time someone mentions Black Panther? Hectic! Was she not tired from Wednesday?
The MC for the night was Lesego Tlhabi, aka Coconut Kelz. She tried to save the show shemmm, but I think it was too late.
Shwa also bumped into The Estate actress Didie Makobane. Could it be the free drinks? Love it.
The only thing that Shwa enjoyed was watching the Drip dance group. That’s the only thing that gave me that Wakanda feeling.
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