Hayi suka! Eish, Sundays in Khezetheni are now a battleground – not between the taxi gangs, but between Mama’s rosary and Gogo’s goat!
Just when you thought the only thing stricter than the priest was your mother’s stare when you missed mass, in comes the Catholic bishops with a letter fatter than a funeral envelope.
Our holy shepherds have declared war on bafethu, ubungoma, goats, and those colourful candles that light up our ancestors’ WhatsApp line.
Apparently, if you mix Jesus with izangoma, you’re betraying the Lord like Judas did. Sacrifice a chicken? You risk suspension, and not just from the church, but from the braai, too.
Let’s be real, fellow sinners, township life is a DJ: it mixes beats. We praise with ululation but also consult Gogo when headaches get mysterious. Now, the bishops want us to choose: incense or impepho, amen or makhosi!
But, as always, the real scandal is power. The Vatican’s men in black want unity, but they can’t handle our spiritual groove. Where faith and ancestors still share a plate. Sorry, bishops, the people know, in KZN, you can bless the rosary, but never mess with the ancestors!
