Sexual myths persist despite the plethora of research done, writes Somaya Stockenstroom
Many women still believe men with big feet are well-endowed while others are encouraged to have caesarian births to stay tight for their men. But scientific research says sexual myths like these are mostly untrue. Most of our sexual pleasures come from the mind.
Men and Big Feet
A room full of women will often discuss how men sized nine and up are well-endowed. But sex and relationships writer Erika Smith says a conclusive research of the thousands of studies done on this subject in 2015 found no correlation between foot and penis size.
“All the correlations between penile dimensions and somatometric parameters were either inconsistent or weak. The most consistent and strongest significant correlation was between flaccid stretched or erect length and height.”
While other experts say there may be a correlation between height and penis length. According to the BJUI, a leading urology journal, the average erect penis length is just over 13cm.
This comes after 20 studies of men around the world where their girth and length were measured – and only five men in 100 have an erect penis longer than 16cm.
G-spots, birth and manipulation
According to Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng, a woman can experience one of three orgasms: clitoral, G-spot and a vaginal orgasm.
But other medical research suggests that there may be a secret zone inside the vagina that results in orgasmic explosions.
Sexologist Dr Eve says when the wall behind the belly button is aroused, some women can have a deeper orgasm and sometimes gush or ejaculate.
Meanwhile, some women in various parts of the African continent are taught to pull their labia and manipulate it to be longer. The belief is that men find it erotic when their bits are wrapped in it.
But a PR specialist, who only wants to be called Jackie, says her labia is naturally long and it does nothing for her.
She speaks of cousins who were taught at a young age to continuously pull on their vaginal lips using oils and sometimes herbs, from as young as 10.
“They say their husbands are smitten and will never cheat,”
“As an educated person I cannot believe any of this to be true. Also, not as a feminist but as a human being, how is teaching your child to alter their genitals right? Why must women change their bodies to please men? And the women who claim it does wonders for them I seriously doubt.”
Vaginal tightening is popular in gynaecological and plastic surgery rooms.
But Dr Tlaleng writes in her book that just like the vagina is able to expand for sex and birth, it often retracts.
Women are advised to do kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.
Gay men and anal sex
Jermaine, who refers to himself as a hair magician, breaks out in laughter when asked if he as gay man only has anal sex.
“It’s what all heterosexual people think of gay men. I’m not going to lie. As a young man afraid of coming out, a thought that scared me was admitting it and
then one day engaging in anal sex,” he explains.
“My extremely religious parents always preached that this act was from the devil. I don’t think that way, but I was just always freaked out by the thought
of it. I realised after that sex with men was not just about anal.
There are many ways of pleasing your partner without penetration. I simply don’t enjoy anal sex.”
According to a 2011 study of 25 000 men who have sex with men published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, less then 40% of respondents reported engaging in anal sex with their last sexual partner.
“Most of my female clients will tell me about how their straight men often try to have anal sex with them and that too doesn’t make their men gay.
“Sexual arousal comes from our thoughts.”
Cyber flashing a big turn off
The number of complaints on social media regarding men sending unwelcomed selfies of their nether regions is alarming.
Student Judith Mpeyi says a guy who was intimate with her best friend was texting her on the side. She entertained his topics until he sent a nude image of his private parts.
“I was shocked. I didn’t say anything. Never did I even flirt with him. The next time we chatted, he video-called and was naked. He asked if I like what I see. I told him I am not into him that way and his vile pictures put me off completely. I blocked him from texting or calling me,” she says.
Daily Mirror reports that four in 10 millennial women have been subjected to this, which is referred to as cyber flashing. Pennsylvania State University psychologists report in the Journal of Sex Research that men guilty of this are often those with high levels of narcissism.
The heterosexual men they surveyed were asked questions relating to personality traits.
Fourty-eight of them said they sent “D pics” without consent. Dr Eve writes on her blog that the game can be enjoyed when it’s consensual.
“Before sexting images or videos, ask the recipient for permission. Sexting is hyper personal, it increases feelings of realness, which rapidly lead to a desire to meet in real life. Sending nude images may convey a message that you are open to sexual activity… Meet in person before you begin sexting images of yourself.
You may regret it once you’ve met up.”