Her life is the epitome of the glossy women’s magazines for which she once worked.
Her new job at a luxury car maker takes her to exotic locations around the world. When Thando Pato is not hosting uber-cool events as part of her job, she’s attending some of the best shindigs around the country. She is known to her colleagues and friends as the “Party Girl”.
And her sanctuary at the end of a long day at work or a long night of partying, is a gorgeous flat in a security complex. But Pato is an alcoholic, as she shares in her book On the Rocks: Memoir of a High-Functioning Alcoholic, and ashamed of the fact alcohol is the fuel that drives her life.
The book, which covers a period of five years, from 2016 when she realised she had a drinking problem, is about much more than her struggle with alcohol. Yes, she can polish two bottles of wine alone after a long day at the office. And yes, sometimes she passes out and does not remember how she got home. “I don’t know how I get home but I do get home because I wake a few hours later in my bed … I am thirsty … I pick up my handbag and a receipt falls out. I read the contents. I spent R4 000 – on booze,” she writes.
In a telephone interview, Pato tells Sunday World that drinking was comforting to her. “My solace was alcohol for a very long time. It is a hard relationship to let go … Alcohol is always there, not like a friend.”
The 44-year-old also writes about her battles with mental illness, breast cancer, toxic relationships and another addiction – which she drops like a bombshell at the end of the book.
“The other addiction has always been there,” she says on the phone, “Addiction is a complicated subject. One is never addicted to one thing.”
On January 1 2017, Pato made a pact with her brother Simphiwe to quit alcohol for a year – and she did, though she ended her sobriety two weeks shy of a full year. It was the same year she was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and put on medication for it. She also turned 40.
The next year she was diagnosed with breast cancer; had a double mastectomy; froze her eggs in case she decided to have children; and started chemotherapy. “I was afraid. I was making life-changing decisions in a quick amount of time. I didn’t have time to stop and reflect. I drank and I had my game face on,” she says.
As Pato prepares to celebrate her 45th birthday next month, she has been two years sober.
“I enjoy the simple things in life; a cup of coffee, friends and family. I have peace.”
Follow @SundayWorldZA on Twitter and @sundayworldza on Instagram, or like our Facebook Page, Sunday World, by clicking here for the latest breaking news in South Africa. To Subscribe to Sunday World, click here
