When couples decide to tie the knot, it is never just about the union of two people who want to build a life together. It is also about uniting families and forging new connections. However, marriage also marks the start of a financial partnership beyond the cultural celebration and family gatherings.
Siphokazi Sobazile, a senior specialist in legal marketing at Liberty, advises couples to be mindful of the financial implications of marriage long before approaching the elders about their intentions to settle down.
“Many couples view lobola as symbolic without realising they often happen during a period when big financial decisions are being made,” says Sobazile. “Having honest money conversations early helps couples avoid misunderstandings and start their marriage with confidence.”
For couples choosing the customary marriage route, Sobazile notes a recent Constitutional Court ruling, which she says highlights why couples should have open conversations about finances before formally concluding their unions, whether during the lobola negotiations or other customary processes.
In January, the apex court overturned a high court ruling that had found part of the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act unconstitutional.
The Constitutional Court upheld the law but ruled that couples cannot casually change their matrimonial property arrangements after entering a customary marriage.
For Neoentle and Lebogang Moche, the conversations about finance only came into focus after they tied the knot. “The money talk was never part of the discussions during the relationship phase,” Neoentle explains. “After the wedding, we needed to revisit our financial discussions and create a plan.”
Neoentle told Sunday World that transparency around income, debt and financial responsibilities was something she had to learn over time.
“It was never easy. I come from past relationships where finances were never part of any conversation,” she says. “Getting into a relationship with this man, who is now my husband and insists that we discuss finances, has been a significant change for me. It’s really been a learning curve for me. In the six years that we have been together, I can safely say I’ve gotten better with time.”
However, the situation was entirely different for Zuko and Masebedi Ndima. Their conversation on finances started much earlier, as soon as marriage became a serious topic in their relationship.
“As soon as the marriage conversation was on the table, we were looking at how to make marriage work or give it the best chance of survival. We discovered that finances are one of the biggest reasons why marriages end up not working,” says Zuko, highlighting that issues such as debt, differing spending habits, and lack of financial communication often contribute to marital strain. “So to avoid this pitfall, we knew we needed to pay special attention to this aspect.”
The couple say they have been intentional about being transparent with each other about their financial situations.
“We have been as open as possible, right down to declaring income and expenses, debts and other financial responsibilities,” Zuko explains. This has played a crucial role in establishing clear expectations and setting appropriate boundaries.
Sobazile explains that before concluding a customary marriage, couples should understand what marital regime they intend to enter: in community of property or out of community of property, with or without accrual.
If couples want to be married out of community of property, an antenuptial contract must be signed before the marriage is concluded. Without this, the union automatically defaults to community of property, which generally means assets and debts are shared. In this arrangement, the law requires spousal consent for certain transactions, including the selling or mortgaging of immovable property, standing surety, or entering into certain credit agreements.
For Neoentle, who attended law school, this was one conversation she knew she needed to have early on. “I knew the type of marital regime I wanted,” she says. “Was I scared to voice out what I wanted? Totally. But I was running out of time. Lucky for me, it is exactly what my husband wanted too.”
Sobazile also recommends that couples review their financial protection regularly with a financial adviser, including wills, life cover, disability coverage, and investments, particularly after major life events such as the birth of a child, a new job, retrenchment, or relocation.
She also notes that workplace insurance is often insufficient, and couples should assess whether they have adequate life, disability, and severe illness insurance.
The Moches and Ndimas are clear about one thing as they strengthen their unions: they should never avoid or delay discussing money.
