Bad boy-loving syndrome is definitely a thing. The phenomenon comes from centuries ago, and no matter how much women have progressed through the rise of feminism, there are those among us who still can’t resist the gaze of a bad boy.
There are scores of research papers that can testify to this. It will tell you that women, more especially during their ovulation phase, are attracted to alpha men who display dominant characteristics. Blame nature and the cave man era, like a lioness attracted to the most dominant male in the pride. But it’s obvious that the phenomenon doesn’t only apply during ovulation as some women get caught up in the whirlwind of bad love.
Degreed, successful and monied – the intelligence switch in their brains seems to switch off when these men turn on the charm. Just look at Dr Nandipha Magudumana and the infamous Thabo Bester, if that’s even his real name. A convicted rapist, scamming and conniving thug who faked his own death and allegedly had prison authorities help him escape from his Mangaung prison cell.
The good doctor, said to be married, has lost all her marbles because she’s in love with the notorious criminal.
Human relationship expert Patrick Wanis writes on his blog that, “women don’t consciously seek out bad men but they are subconsciously attracted to them; the definition of bad depends on the woman but it can equal unattainable, elusive, guarded, shy, rebel, non-committal, emotionally unavailable, lost, rude, dominant, abusive, or even the criminal; any man that can offer them that thrill”.
One of my many best friends is a successful mathematician and runs her deceased dad’s successful business. A woman with the latest sport cars, all purchased by herself, she is attracted to dead beats.
Not to frown on men who earn less money than women, but my dad taught me that love wins when we team up with those similar to us.
This friend would date unemployed men or guys who earned significantly less than her and would fund their lavish lifestyle – this while they would beat her black and blue every time the liquor flowed.
Then we have the other kind who get involved with the “gangsta” type. It’s baffling to figure out why this kind is attractive to some women. Gangsters who have a wife and several other side chicks is trending again.
This is why educating yourself is so important.
Ward concludes that women who have deep, unresolved emotional and psychological issues are attracted to bad boys because they subconsciously, believe they deserve to be treated badly don’t feel lovable, good enough or because they have what he calls the twisted definition of love.
Is this what the likes of Lerato Kganyago, Khanyi Mbau and Kefilwe Mabote suffer from?
Ladies, jokes aside, it’s 2023 and time we appreciate and love ourselves enough to do better.
Let’s practise what we preach.
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