Straight & 2 Beers: A big yes to army vs zama zamas

They were deployed to back up the police to enforce Covid-19 regulations. But when the army landed in our townships, they seemed all too eager to kick our ass instead of shooting the coronavirus.

Those who violated the pandemic regulations found their unfit selves forced to do push-ups. Their faces behind masks, the soldiers took the chief of the army’s words literally to skop and donder those who fell afoul of the rules.


In Alexandra township, they were greeted and welcomed by urchins, who were all agog at seeing uniforms in their backyards. Some soldiers took the job in their stride and realised the impossibility of staying indoors in the overcrowded township. However, others went a step too far and assaulted and even murdered.

My personal experience with the army did not end tragically. I was busy cleaning my smiley (sheep head) when I heard the army was patrolling my hood. When they drove past, I did what any curious newspaperman would do. I hauled out my camera and started filming the convoy. However, some of them were not amused and they stopped their vehicle and told me to get back in the house. I remonstrated that I was doing my job as a journalist, as much as they were doing theirs. When two of them alighted their army vehicle, I slinked back into the house.

The prospect of taking a kick in my ribs was not appealing at all. I knew instinctively that by the time my journalistic credentials were proved I’d be lying in hospital with broken bones. Besides, with their masks on, it would have been a battle to prove culpability. That’s when I rushed into my shed and found smiley waiting for me to roast her.

Before the pandemic, few people had come into contact with the army, except occasionally passing their vehicles on the road. In fact, for a country that hasn’t been to war since the invasion of Lesotho in the nineties, few people know what it is our army does exactly except polish their boots in their barracks.

So, I fully endorse the suggestion that our army be deployed to illegal mining hotspots. The call was made by the portfolio committee on mineral resources following a visit to Mpumalanga and Gauteng last week.

Zama zamas are armed to the teeth, and the police are outgunned and outclassed, so the army is the right outfit to take them on.

While at it, they should also confront cable thieves who are also armed and determined to plunge our economy into further crisis.

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