Straight & 2 Beers: British royals … what a yawn

I was a journalism intern when Princess Diana died in a car accident in 1997. She died in the wee hours of the morning, South African time, and when the edition had been put to bed.

So important was the event of her death that the newspaper had to be remade to reflect the momentous occasion. Though I was still wet behind the ears and could not really be bothered about some lady I had never met, I had to comply with the wishes of the newsdesk and report for duty for whatever titbits I was assigned to scrummage for regarding Diana.


Of course, I knew her as I had always been a voracious reader and had come across her chequered life in tabloids.

Years later, I met Prince Edward at St Stithians College in Randburg and I was not impressed, not least because I struggled to understand his cockney accent. But since it was another assignment, I obliged and graced the occasion and made it newsy.

I watched the interview Oprah Winfrey did with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry because I did not want to be left behind.

At home I have followed the shenanigans of the zol-smoking AbaThembu King Dalindyebo and his battles with his son for the throne. I have also enjoyed the articles about the battle for Vhavenda and Modjadji thrones.

I was impressed and touched by the songs of amabutho when King Goodwill Zwelithini was planted following his demise. I also followed the battle for the throne for the Zulu Kingdom as reported on these pages.

Then last week, an old gogo croaked and we have been updated with her life and inundated with every detail leading to her burial and her heir, King Charles.

While I really could not be bothered, I have been unable to avert my eyes from the screen even though as an African, I have serious issues with the British monarchy who expropriated our diamonds. The same diamonds dug from Mzansi and installed on Elizabeth’s crown.

I hope Charles will return those diamonds so we can sell them and donate the proceeds to the poor.

Last, but not least, dear reader, I would appreciate it if you could enlighten me on our infatuation with royalty because frankly, I don’t believe the hogwash that they have blue blood.

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