According to some weird and old myth, men are supposed to be the ones who initiate sex in a relationship.
This is not entirely true, because women too can make that first move, especially if they are in a steady relationship or are married to their partners.
Being spontaneous plays a big role in a couple’s sexual relationship. Many couples have fallen into the trap that only a man should suggest having sex. This may be due to norms imposed by society, which suggest that men should pursue and women should be pursued.
According to a study by Susan Sprecher, a professor of sociology at Illinois State University, normal, sexual satisfaction is greater in relationships where partners initiated equally or where women sometimes initiated sex.
Her study found that in more than 60% of the couples, men initiated more often than women. In the remaining 30% of couples, initiation was equally divided between partners, and in those, the women initiated more often.
Sunday World gathered some vox pop to put the question to rest.
Thirty-year-old Andile said if he wants sex, he initiates it, and believes that his partner also wants to have sex, she should make a move.
Martin Mavimbela, 37, said there are no rule about who should make the first move. “When someone is horny and wants to get jiggy with it, it’s an open book. Both sexes can initiate and get down to business.”
Twenty-four-year-old Nomusa Jili believes it is no one’s responsibility to initiate the deed, saying anyone who feels like having sex should take the bold step.
“I believe it is safer that way than to have a designated initiator. A designated initiator only fulfills his or her fantasies and would only initiate the deed when it suits them. That means the other partner would be sexually deprived and depressed.” said Jili.
Palesa Mofokeng, a 40-year-old married woman, shared that the responsibility is for both parties to show if they are still attracted to one another.
“If there is a problem, sex can be the ice-breaker to help solve matters between a couple. It is the root or the foundation of the relationship,” said Mofokeng.
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