To the Eskom board: Application for a job as Eskom group CEO
Since the current Eskom CEO, Andre de Ruyter, announced he will be stepping down two months ago, I have not seen any advertisement for his position. Perhaps you have appointed an agency to recruit his successor. There is speculation you want De Ruyter to rescind his resignation. I am writing to you today to raise my hand for this crucial job.
I studied physical science until matric and I know my way around a circuit board and how electricity flows. That alone should qualify me for the job. I am not an engineer, but that should not discount my application because in my country lack of relevant skills has never prevented
anyone from ascending to a senior position.
We have had a boss of the public broadcaster without matric (Hlaudi Motsoeneng). We also had the state-owned airline presided over by a school teacher (Dudu Myeni). There was also a social worker appointed as national commissioner of the police. She famously said you don’t have to be a drunk to run a tavern.
The Eskom job requires a shrewd and astute communicator, something I am. De Ruyter tried to emulate President Cyril Ramaphosa’s Covid family meetings. This is nonsensical because many consumers would not be able to tune in without electricity.
Many of our Eskom consumers engage on social media and that’s where the battle should be taken to. The job also requires a thick skin, and I don’t mind being a battering ram for that hefty pay cheque. South Africans are a whining bunch who take to social media to voice their frustrations. I am ready to battle it out on Twitter and Facebook with consumers. For starters, after 14 years, our people should be used to the new normal of blackouts. They adjusted quickly during the pandemic and washed their hands and kept social distance.
Candles, paraffin and gas should be part of the monthly grocery. In fact, I intend to exhort the department of social development to include a packet of candles as a grant for poorer households. That should ease the pressure on electricity consumption.
Finally, I will ensure that by the time I leave Eskom there will be no monopolistic power utility in the country. Companies simply need to get off the grid and generate power from cow dung, wind and solar.
You can schedule a virtual interview. However, I’ll have to check the loadshedding schedule in my area. I’ll report for duty after De Ruyter leaves the building.
Yours in darkness.
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