I am fascinated by names, their meaning and how often what is supposed to be just a label on the occasion of birth gets to define character.
Gedleyihlekisa literally means “circle (the one) you laugh with” essentially “he who plots a friend’s downfall” – get it.
Zuma means attack by surprise, while your enemy still has their pants at their ankles.
How on earth did these names end up meaning the same thing, you ask?
It reminds me of a close friend of mine, Nkosinathi Emmanuel – on the translation of the other.
Actually, a lot of people share this anomaly. My mother’s child is named Sipho Gift.
But it is not the sameness of Jacob Zuma that I find intriguing but his contradictions.
By the way, Iacobus means supplanter, he who eats what was there before.
William Shakespeare creates Iago, for his classic play Othello, a character that hates his boss and friend so intensely that he plots to destroy him by causing him to believe his wife is cheating on him.
In this instance, I am Bill Shakespeare, Iago, well, you know who that is, Othello is some chap sometimes referred to as Cyril and the “cheating wife” Desdemona is 14% of the electorate Iago caused to flirt with him to make his friend jealous.
Don’t mention it, I know I am a genius.
I didn’t say Iago wants to supplant the ANC, did I?
Oh well, as you will remember, if you, like me, were raised at the foot of the pulpit, God later rebirths this Yacob character as Israel, meaning “protected by God”.
The chief schemer now has ultimate protection.
So often Iacobus Yacob Jacob Gedleyihlekisa is presented as – actually, not even.
My late boss, openly called him “this buffoon”.
I am sure he thought joker is an insult but that’s matter for another day.
This actually goes to this weird reality of Zuma – if you read a lot about him, you are schizophrenic or the either is because you will conclude you have been reading about two different people.
You are told about a bumbling fool that knows nothing about anything in one sentence and a genius who stole the country – three times, to be exact – in the next.
Loathed and loved, I am willing to bet more loved than loathed but I don’t want you to commit suicide in the event you hate this fellow.
Of course, those who love him, have already expressed a willingness to die for him while his haters, though they would kill him then show us the body to prove their crime, are loathed to say so.
As I started writing, I was sure Zuma would not have returned to parliament as leader of a teen party.
I was sure his appeal to the Constitutional Court to be allowed in was just a scheme to aggravate his haters.
Why would an octogenarian trade the comforts of the presidency for a place on the backbenches?
Nobody sleeps gracefully on those benches.
But now I am not so sure.
The answer hit me – this is not the end is it, Israel completes the story.
Imagine the derided buffoon making a triumphant return to parliament as leader of the opposition. That laugh.
When the ConCourt finally barred him, I thought to myself, no, now he keeps his R2.3-million a year salary for life, which then transfers to his spouse upon his demise.
And knowing Zuma, his heir is not the eldest but youngest one.
So, with the stroke of a pen, the ConCourt committed us to ensuring a Zuma luxuriates by the fire pool for a very long time.
I guess he is having a good old last laugh now reading this, knowing God’s hand is upon him.
I was fascinated to learn that “hand upon him” means “protect him” according to David in his Psalms, “show him His affection”, according to John and “direct him”, according to Paul in Acts. Hhe hhe hhe.
Imagine that.
Could this man be directed, loved, protected by God. Surely, his haters then have a tough long road ahead.
Just as I said that, it occurs to me – Cyril means God?
Light-bulb moment – wasn’t Zuma saved, rescued from prison by a remission?
Before you say “don’t take God’s name in vain”, let me shut up.
- Mzwandile kaBizokwakhe is a columnist at large with obviously too much time on his hands to think silly things.
