Famous musician Bongani “Mörda” Mahosana caused a stir when he announced this week that he will not attend the private send-off of Kiernan “AKA” Forbes.
A statement about the multi award-winning rapper’s funeral arrangements mentioned that Mahosana has chosen to follow cultural protocol.
“A man cannot see his wife mourn for another man,” according to cultural expert Pearl Sithole, who stated that the deceased’s baby-mama, DJ Zinhle Jiyani, should have also excused herself from attending her former boyfriend’s burial.
Zinhle showed face in support of her daughter, Kairo, who is AKA’s daughter.
Sithole said in such events, the mother would ask one of the siblings to accompany her child to bid farewell to the deceased.
“Technically, in terms of culture, a married woman should not be mourning anybody other than her husband … Most married women stay away from affairs related to previous relationships and, in fact, most husbands do take offence.
“Women support the children from previous relationships to go [and] grieve for the father – just privately and on the side, and sometimes an empathetic husband enables the financial support between the mother and her kids,” said Sithole.
The University of Free State social scientist and vice-principal for academic and research said the social mood and the reasons behind the ending of the relationship between the biological parents will determine who must accompany the child to the funeral.
However, Sithole said this is not necessarily a matter of culture, and will backfire if the partner of the deceased feels offended.
“It must be added that most South African cultures make the woman’s support for her kids of the previous marriage a timid matter, unlike the husband’s support for his kids, which is not only demanded of the man, but his current wife too.
“Timid does not mean that women do not support their kids out of marriage. It means that they persist despite the guilt they are made to feel. In this situation, forget about being seen to mourn for a previous partner,” she added.
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