Now let me ask our celebs some questions

  • Black Coffee, why does your mom like to cause drama at your kids’ private school, harassing your baby mamas? Bathong, that’s not Sopatsela High.

 

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A post shared by Black Coffee (@realblackcoffee)

  • Can Enhle Mbali stop playing internet victim every time there is a story about her. We know she is a passionate actress and acting comes naturally, but just like at any other job there is knock off time. Remember she was a feminist for two days. What happened to being the face of that foundation?

 

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A post shared by Enhle Mbali Mlotshwa (@enhlembali_)

  • Rosette Ncwana, what is your favourite political party between ANC and EFF?
  • There is a rich scandalous businessman, hint, hint. He is a player who almost dated everyone… He is now dating twins, whoever guesses his name right stands a chance to win a gossip voucher.
  • Carol Bouwer, are you still married? Was your white husband aware of the black deals you were busy with?
  • Has the Khumalos and the Ntshingilas made peace? We miss pictures of black excellence on our timelines?
  • Keefeboo is looking hot again, what’s the secret, nana?
  • Sithelo, who is the new sugar daddy from the East Rand? I am told he is too generous, and his pockets are deep.
  • We thank Idlozi, Zodwa Wabantu for no longer annoying people of high values and morals with her… maybe it’s what we needed as a country, her to be a sangoma so that we can restore dignity and morals in our country. Thokoza.
  • What happened to Jimmy Tau? One must always check up on him, phela this one is popular for being so irresistibly good. Maybe there is some guy looking for him as we speak.
  • I wonder who Brenda Ngxoli’s baby daddy is because the last time I checked, she had moved back to the rural areas? It could be a local farmer or shepherd. We may never know.
  • Sizwe Dhlomo, some of us are single mothers, remember that before you call the board of directors.Come on, you are too hot for that.
  • Ayanda Thabethe, when is the big day? Son is gonna start talking now and you know when they get to that age, they will start questioning why mommy and daddy are living in sin. Get married; we need a reason to dress up, even if you pull a Mohale and Somgaga, we don’t care. Nothing lasts forever in Celebville.

 

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A post shared by Ayanda Thabethe (@ayandathabethe_)


  • How is the Free state mama known for being a legislature speaker but was busy sending nudes to her toy boy doing? Are you enjoying your newly found fame as an amateur porn star?

This week, I decided to put together a fool’s guide on how to spot red flags and dodgy signs when it comes to protecting you this festive.

December is upon us already. Ladies hold on to your men as bonus vultures are watching over their wallets.

Also sugar mamas watch out, your Ben 10s are cooking up new tricks and stories on how to extort bonus money.

Ladies, always make sure you know your men’s work address. In fact, drop him a call on the work landline or follow him until the day he gets paid. If he has disappearing tendencies when he gets paid, make sure you know his best friend’s address. He will lead you in the right direction. Don’t trust any female “cousin” surfacing around this time. We know that cousin trick is the oldest in the book and cousins are not to be trusted, anyways. They usually have dirty history.

Do not allow your men to go to any mall, not even to church alone. Gold diggers are all over nowadays. Churches are the best hunting places. Men there are too nice and easy there.

For sugar mamas out there, make sure you don’t maintain a young cute man without knowing anything about his family. Insist on meeting his family.


He might be telling his girlfriend you are his mother or mother’s sister whose son died. Rock up at his place unannounced. You are paying the rent, anyways.

You need to ascertain you are not buying his younger girlfriend clothes. Don’t give him cash; go with him, he is your child, after all.

Always have a tracker and insurance because your car is used as Instagram. He is using it to brag about his “success”. That’s what you are called out there. Make sure you protect your kid’s money, don’t allow good sex to cloud your judgment. Remember you’re old, so protect your retirement.

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